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|Tuesday, June 10th, 2008|
Hilarious teaching hijinks
If you're a teacher, you should see the film Chalk
. If you're a student, you should DEFINITELY see the film Chalk
. Presented by Morgan Spurlock (the guy who did Super Size Me
), this film is like The Office, but in a school setting. I know a couple teachers and while I have no idea what teaching is like, a friend of mine who teaches science told me it's not far from the truth. Which is scary, because this is a mockumentary.
Anyway, I thought y'all might like it. Enjoy! Chalk
X-posted... everywhere? :)
|Wednesday, February 7th, 2007|
You Don't Say!
What? You want us to evaluate our students' reading level and take that under consideration while lesson planning? Oh. My. God. That is the most revolutionary idea in the history of education! Why didn't any of us teachers think of that? Education will never be the same after today! Of course, it all makes perfect sense now, especially since we are all doing that already. We told you that. Your idea was duly noted as a good one and one already being used. No need to get all grumpy when we fail to bow down to your academic godliness. Oh, and next time you mutter "we, maybe I should just stick with P.E. stuff" under you breathe in a fit of passive-aggressive pique, I will retort with a "yes, maybe you should. After all we don't tell you the best way to throw the little red balls or critique your push up form." You are a P.E. teacher, abet one that is well loved and respected by all. For now.
|Tuesday, February 6th, 2007|
How not to get a job to supplement your graduate fellowship.
1) Compose the following email:Good Afternoon,
I am (name), a graduate student. I have good academic
credentials in my undergraduate study.I am good at
I am looking for a job. can you help me?
Looking forward to a favourable reply.
2) Attach your enormous CV as a Word file.
3) Send it to a hundred random email addresses plucked from the university's directory.
I have no idea why I got this. All the other addresses appear to be professors and people in adminstration. I was just amused by the fact that someone actually thought randomly spamming professors and administrators with their CV was going to work
. Of course, if it does, more power to him/her...but somehow I think not.
|Monday, January 22nd, 2007|
Howdy, I'm Takhys and I'm in my last semester of an undergraduate degree in Political Science and Classical Studies. I knew I'd be busy this term and so I thought I'd take a nice, easy, second year distance ed course -- History of World Religions. Sounds good, doesn't it? So many things sound like good ideas, but when it comes down to reality, they're borked all to feck and back.
The names have been changed to protect the stupid. Now, let's review some of the introduction posts so that you can better understand the brilliant people I'm dealing with: ( *sound of sobbing*Collapse ) Current Mood: disappointed
|Wednesday, February 15th, 2006|
thanks for the heart attack!
Here's a thought:
Before notifying a student that s/he does not have enough credits to fulfill X minor, and will not graduate at the end of the semester unless said student drops said minor, it is probably a good idea to double check that the student, in fact, does not
have the credits to fulfill the minor. If you prefer to skip this step, and the student is forced to come to you personally to point out that yes, s/he does
in fact have more
than enough credits to fulfill said minor, the appropriate response runs something along the lines of "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I am clearly too stupid to count to 6 and I apologize for the worry that must have caused you" and is nowhere near
"Oh, I didn't think you would want me to count those classes."
Because I would much rather drop a minor I've put 40+ credit hours towards than count my directed study in Peruvian literature towards it, you twit. How did you get this job, and why are you allowed to have control over my future?
|Monday, December 12th, 2005|
It's paper grading time
I hope you were getting some oral sex when you were writing this. It would explain why your writing would be in BLOWS style instead of anything even remotely academically comprehendable. Current Mood: cranky
|Wednesday, November 30th, 2005|
|Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005|
I bet Mensa is knocking down your door.
The first day, and several days after when asked, I have put the proper file format in which to email me things on the board.
The file format is your first initial, your last name, UNDERSCORE,The class number, DASH, the class section number, UNDERSCORE, the assignment name.
This should all be in MS Word format, as I've said several times.
You are supposed to put the file name in the subject header of your email.
I put my name up as an example*: MDangergrrl_101-069_ResearchPaper.doc
This should be an easy process. I've gone over it so many times in class, and its written in the contract you signed the first day of class AND in the syllabus. Nevertheless, even the most bright of you mess this up at least once. It happens.
But there is something that makes my brain throb in pain and leads me to heavy drinking to sedate myself so I don't lose it in front of the class.Why in the name all that is holy would you send me a file with MY name on it?
I mean REALLY!?!
How the hell did you get into college? What part of "this is an example" do you not understand? How the fuck do you even dress yourself in the morning when you can't even muster up enough synaptic response to type your own name?
Please, do us all a favor, drop out and do something that involves less human contact, like, bull semen collecting. At least then you could put your talent for completely jacking off to real use.
Yes, I know, more of a rant than a cat, but this place is rather slow and it is my community so NYAHHH.
*obviously not my real name. Current Mood: annoyed
|Monday, October 31st, 2005|
From the "But they sound the same" file
When doing a paper on the history of domestic violence, it is important to note that ending women's suffrage
improve women's rights. Current Mood: distressed
|Tuesday, August 9th, 2005|
|Thursday, July 21st, 2005|
|Monday, July 18th, 2005|
|Wednesday, July 13th, 2005|
|Thursday, June 23rd, 2005|
I may not teach, but...
Dear fellow students,
I realize how hard it must be for you to comprehend that I am here to learn, seeing as how I'm likely the only person here who paid my tuition out of my own pocket. I'm not going to ask much from you, but I will remind you of something before we have any further interaction:
I am nobody's
bitch, calendar, cheat sheet, study buddy, or reminder service. You want to know when the test is? Look on the goddamned syllabus. You want to know where the library is? It's a small campus. Look out the window, or maybe at a directory. You want to know, just this very morning, if we had anything due today? If I say 'yes', does your homework suddenly appear out of your ass or something?
I came here to learn. I get sick of you sitting there with your thumbs up your butts while I'm the only person responding to the teacher's questions - not like I don't sit in silence for thirty or forty seconds, every time
, to see if one of you has something to say.
Maybe it's my own damned fault for trying to save money by taking some courses at a community college. But grow the fuck up. Just because I'm smart, that doesn't mean I'm stupid.
The only person in the front row
|Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005|
Sorry but "busting your butt" in class to get a good grade does not mean "whine to the professor whenever you mess up due to not listening to or following instructions."
Thanks for playing.
Try again next semester.
|Wednesday, June 1st, 2005|
I understand you want to be a leader and not a follower. However I can assure you that following directions
will not hinder you from that goal. Current Mood: frustrated
|Sunday, May 29th, 2005|
"APA Style" is not secret teacher code for making shit up as you go along. Current Mood: annoyed
|Tuesday, May 10th, 2005|
Heard from a radio commercial for a local community college a while back (area code hidden to protect the innocent):For more information call (XXX) college. That's (XXX)C-O-L-L-E-G-E.
Um, if they have to spell it out for you, maybe you shouldn't be going to college.
|Thursday, April 21st, 2005|
meow from the circulation desk
Do you have [insert book title here]?
Ya know, I'm not sure. I'll get the ass factory right on that, though.
(You've been at college *how* long and don't know how to use the catalog yet?
|Saturday, April 16th, 2005|
Yes, the library with the personal private carrels closes early on the weekend, even this weekend, even though you've been very busy this week and haven't done your homework. No, this does not mean you can use the group
study rooms in this library for your own individual
No, I am not
going to repeat this four more times until you get it.